a whole new world

This year, I’ve gone through a lot of changes. I’ve been able to finally move out of my comfort zone (I think)… and there’s just no turning back.

I can’t go back to where I used to be.

I’ve finally conquered my fear of losing my hair. Yup, after about 5 years or so, I’ve finally decided to cut my hair short. And it kinda feels good. It even seems a bit too long for my taste, so I may get another haircut next month.

Careerwise, I’ve overcome my fears of resigning from my previous work of almost three years. It pays good, with all those incentives, and it had a great health benefits — Maxicare Platinum, what more can you ask for? But then it also provided little room for growth. I didn’t want to be a reservation sales agent and take inbound calls for the rest of my life. I know I deserved a big break. And so I resigned in high hopes of pursuing my career in the quality assurance department elsewhere. Going back to square one was never easy, but it gives me the feeling of being able to stand on my own two feet.Ü

As for matters of the heart, I’ve finally accepted that what I have right now is only fleeting. He may really love me, but that’s far as it goes. We will never be able to take it to the next level. Next year, he’s going to leave, and as soon as he does, that’s the end of everything. The things we’d gone through together will just be a vague memory to him. Maybe he wouldn’t even remember it. I know I’ll be devastated, but as compared to before, when he left and I thought he was never coming back to me, I’ll be much stronger. There will be tears, but I know I’ll be able to get up and smile after crying.